Why I Refuse to Have a Wedding

So many little girls dream of their wedding day. I’m not going to lie and say I wasn’t one of them, because I was. I pictured a solid white princess dress, silver and lilac as the colors, tables upon tables of people, an orchestra, some beautiful gothic church. Now, that couldn’t be any further from what I want for a variety of reasons.

First and foremost, I believe marriage has become more about extravagant weddings than the actual marriage. People don’t even think about their life together when they’re submerged in cake and wine tastings and filling scrapbooks with receipts and photos. I want the day I give my life to the person I love to be about the life we’re going to have, and about the love we share. I don’t want it to be about dresses or cakes or champagne, but about us.

Our life together isn’t going to be this picture perfect fairy tale. It’s going to be real life. We’re going to have struggles, and beautiful triumphs. We’re going to love eachother with everything we have, even when we feel we have nothing. We will have a life full of laughter and mishaps, but overflowing with love.

The second reason is the price. My significant other and I have spoken about it on multiple occasions, and we both feel that a big wedding is an unnecessary expenditure. There are so many more important things that the massive amount of money a wedding would cost can be spent on. For us, it will either go towards travel or towards our living situation. Those things are things we value much more than making a show of something we think is beautiful and personal.

The most important part of my reasoning for me, is the fact that I don’t have the best relationship with my family. My wedding day will be a special day for me and my boyfriend, and I don’t want those people to ruin it for me. I couldn’t bare the guilt I would feel to have a wedding without my family, but I would be miserable if they were there. It’s not so simple as just not inviting them, or having them there and ignoring them. I just don’t want to have one because it would make me uncomfortable.

I’m not settling. Going to the court house and signing the certificate with a witness is all I want. It’s the only way I can picture my wedding day going in a way I’d want to remember. I don’t feel like I’m giving anything up or missing anything. And if I do after, we’ll renew and have a ceremony. This is what I want, and I’m happy I have someone who agrees. I’m not a little girl anymore, and the fairy tales I believe in are of a more realistic nature.


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